They say water is good for the body. Well, that is true if you are drinking it or having a bath, but not if you’re drowning.
I remember I was six years old when I was getting ready for my first and last swimming lesson. I don’t really know what possessed me to go further into the deep end of the water, but I went willingly. Holding onto the edges of the pool I went further and further until someone yelled, “Let go,” and I did. I sank to the bottom of the pool like a bag of rocks. After I got comfortable at the bottom, I started looking up at all the swimmers gliding across the water, not paying any attention to me resting at the bottom. I started to think about the good things I’d been told about water.
1. Jesus walked on water. I can honestly say I sank to the bottom of water. Okay, I can see few similarities.
2. Jesus turned water into wine. My mother turned water into Kool-Aid, thirty different flavors, not just one. And it was delicious. No dice; let’s move on.
3. Water is refreshing on a hot summer day. It cools the body to a nice crisp 70 degrees. Of course, water is refreshing and cooling but not if you’re drowning in it. It burns your nostrils and turns you blue. That’s the one for me.
Water is the friend of and enemy to survival. You either respect it or you drown. Speaking of drowning, obviously I didn’t because I’m telling you about my experience. How was I saved?
Well, the fat, lazy lifeguard finished his sandwich and saw me at the bottom of the 4-foot shallow end. He walked in and saved me.
There’s a lesson to be learned here; the only time the lifeguards pay you any attention is when you’re pissing in the pool.