Like the first time I was a virgin. I was inexperienced. I was a big boy but I couldn’t swallow it all. I was a big boy but I had to learn to walk before I crawled. I can’t explain why I never felt it the first time. But I do know that if I felt it again I’d make it mine. The spider I conceived has left webs on my soul. Like Alice’s first time, I fell down a rabbit hole. In need of danger, I give myself to strangers because all my life I’ll be singing my woes. I’m in need of assistance but keep your distance. This is the last time I let go. Like the first time I was a virgin, I wasn’t experienced. But I learned I was a bomb, then I learned how to explode.